I'm Always Thinking of You
by MyAibou
Summary: In the eighteen months since he's been apart from Téa, Yugi can't stop thinking about her. Companion to See You in May. YugixTéa


**Summary:** In the eighteen months since he's been apart from Téa, Yugi can't stop thinking about her. Companion to _See You in May_. (YugixTéa)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Yugi, Téa, Joey, Tristan, Duke, or Serenity. But then, you already knew that.

**Rating: **K

**A/N: **Another bit of peachshipping fluff. Someone asked if I would write a follow-up to show their reunion. The idea for this story and _See You in May _comes out of a longer story I'm working on that is about them seeing each other again, only it has an actual plot and everything. When it's finished, I'll post it. That one will have some Joey/Mai stuff, too, because I'm just that much of a sap.

* * *

I've always been thinking of you. For as long as I can remember, you have been an essential part of me, like air or water. I can't pinpoint the exact moment that our friendship, which began in elementary school, became so much more to me. Probably not at the beginning, if only because I was so young. But I can't remember a time when I didn't adore you.

Once you were my only friend, the only person who didn't see me as just some short, weak, shy, loser. You always stood up for me and I always wished you didn't have to. Later, after _he _came into my life—into _our _lives—you were the only one who understood that, too. You were the only one who saw that it wasn't always me, that sometimes I was different. You caught on even before I did why I couldn't always remember where I'd been or what I'd been doing.

You helped me stay true to _me_, even though _he _was stronger.

So I've always been thinking of you, but as soon as I started thinking of you—in _that _way—a second thought immediately followed_: Never. Gonna. Happen._ It was a wall, a fortress, something for me to hide behind and protect my heart. Girls like you don't like guys like me. You're pretty, smart, extroverted, popular. I'm short, geeky, shy, and never had many friends, at least not until _he _came. I even began to see that you liked _him. _I was okay with that, really. I just wanted you to be happy. I even set you up on a date with him. I don't know how that went. He didn't ever tell me, and neither did you. I suspect he was too focused on finding his memories to really think about you as more than a friend, though he loved you. He loved us all. When he left, it was hard on all of us, but on you most of all. I just didn't want you to be sad.

So you see, even though I was always thinking about you, I was never really thinking about you because I knew it was _Never. Gonna. Happen._

Except… then you blew down that wall, that defense I'd built for myself. You told me you _liked _me. As in, there was a possibility of something beyond friendship. That blew me away. _Never. Gonna. Happen. _became _Maybe._ Only, the timing was all wrong, because _he'd _just left, and what you felt for me was all mixed up with what you felt for him, and then it was graduation and you went to New York to dance and I went to Egypt to study.

That was eighteen months ago. And I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since.

It was probably just a crush on your part. It was probably just the remnants of what you felt for _him._ Who could blame you for being confused? But by even opening the possibility, you completely crushed my wall of defense and I can't go back. I can't pretend I don't feel the way I do, though I try.

I haven't seen you in eighteen months, but we e-mail or IM or text message every day. I know about your life in New York, your role dancing chorus on Broadway. I know all about the guys you've dated. I've never really been jealous of them. None of them lasted, but even if they did, if you're happy, that's all that matters.

I don't date. Mostly I don't have the time. Why I thought I needed to finish my bachelor's degree in two years, I'll never know. But even if I did have time, I don't think I'd have the courage to ask anyone out. You'd think after three years with _him, _I'd have learned to be a little braver. Then again, he was always reserved about emotional things. Remember that time when Joey wanted to know why the Heart of the Underdog card reminded me of him? _He _made _me _explain it. And that time I made him go out on a date with you? He threw a hissy a fit. _A hissy fit. Him. _He could stare down monsters in a Shadow Game without blinking, but an afternoon alone with you unnerved him. So I guess what I've learned from him wouldn't help me know how to ask out a girl anyway.

But even if I did have the courage, even if I did have the time, I don't think I'd date anyway. No one could ever measure up to you.

But you date. I remember the first guy you went out with. I think it only lasted for two dates. You never did say why you wouldn't go out with him again, but I remember you seeming annoyed when you told us about it. I was always curious what he did to get on your bad side.

The next one lasted a little longer and I'll never forget how that one ended. I still have the e-mails.

_**

* * *

**_

_**Subject:** Oh. My. God._

_**From:** dancinggirl…_

_**To:** ymutou…, redeyes…, taylor.tristan…_

_Okay, you guys are never going to believe this. Matt dumped me today, which is fine because I guess if I really liked him I wouldn't be laughing so hard, but you've gotta hear why:_

_I've been so excited about Joey coming to that tournament in New York, I guess I've been babbling about it a lot, so Matt DUMPS me because… he thinks I like Joey!_

_I think I spit milkshake out my nose when he said that. Can you imagine anything more improbable than me and Joey? _

_**

* * *

**_

_**Subject:** Re: Oh. My. God._

_**From:** taylor.tristan…  
_

_**To**: dancinggirl…, ymutou…, redeyes…_

_ROTFL! You have got to be kidding me! If this guy is that stupid, who needs him?_

_**

* * *

**_

_**Subject:** Re: Oh. My. God._

_**From:** ymutou…_

_**To:** dancinggirl…, redeyes…, taylor.tristan…_

_That's pretty funny, Téa. Sorry it didn't work out, though. You okay?_

_**

* * *

**_

_**Subject:** Re: Oh. My. God._

_**From:** dancinggirl_

_**To: ** ymutou…, redeyes…, taylor.tristan…_

_I'm fine, really. It definitely was nothing serious._

_**

* * *

**_

_**Subject: ** Re: Oh. My. God._

_**From: ** redeyes…_

_**To**: taylor.tristan…, dancinggirl…, ymutou…_

_HEY! Why is that so funny! It could happen…_

* * *

Not that Joey's feelings were really hurt or anything. He goes out with plenty of girls and he's still hung up on Mai anyway. It's funny because that guy you were dating obviously doesn't know _you._

The third guy I wonder about more. You don't talk about him much, which makes me think you like him more than the others. Although at one point you did say that he was more interested in you than you were in him. I'm starting to wonder if maybe this won't turn into something, if maybe I shouldn't dig out _Never. Gonna. Happen. _again and try to get over you.

But none of that mattered as soon as I got the news from Professor Hawkins.

We're going on the dig. In a week. At first I was thrilled. We'd been working on this for most of the time since I'd been here. It's the final piece to me getting my bachelor's degree a good two years ahead of schedule. It's funny, me being here in Egypt, the place where _he _had one ruled as king. I'd never really planned to study Egyptology. I don't know what I'd planned to do before he came into my life, but after our trip here, the last time we saw him, I've just found the subject fascinating. In a way, it's like learning about my own past. In a way, it's like coming home. So I've been looking forward to getting out of the classroom and really getting to do some real archaeology. The thing is, right after the professor told me the news, before I even had a chance to get excited about it, he told me the rest. We'd be in areas so remote, we'd be completely without communication. For _six months._ No e-mail, cell phone, nothing. Maybe not even snail mail.

Six months.

Without you.

Suddenly, I don't want to go.

I spend a long time composing the e-mail to tell you all. I want to make it sound like I'm excited. I don't want you to know how scared I am at the thought of six months without you. It's stupid, really. We've been six thousand miles apart for eighteen months, but at least I still _talk _to you. So I try to make it light, to not dwell too much on how hard it will be.

_**

* * *

**_

_**Subject: **Dig is a go!_

_**From: **ymutou…_

_**To: **redeyes…, dancinggirl…, taylor.tristan… _

_Well, guys, it looks like the dig is a go! We leave Cairo in a little over a week. We'll be in a whole bunch of places over the next six months out in the middle of NOWHERE. I'm really excited about it and I think Professor Hawkins is, too. Rebecca not so much, but you know how she complains about EVERYTHING._

_Here's the bad news, though: we'll be completely out of touch the entire time. No e-mails, no cell phones, nothing. I don't even know if I can get letters in and out. It's THAT much out in the middle of the desert. Ugh._

_I'm really looking forward to this, but I think it will be hard, not hearing from you guys for so long. Six months suddenly seems like a Really. Long. Time._

_Anyway, I've suddenly got a ton of stuff to do to get ready. I'll e-mail you all before we go, or maybe we can do a chat? _

* * *

I stare at the screen for a long time after I hit send. What would you say? Would it matter to you that I would be gone for six months? Or maybe you'd be too busy with the latest boyfriend. Maybe you like him more than you let on.

It's one o'clock in the morning and still I'm sitting, thinking of you and how I'm going to get through six months without so much as e-mailing you, when suddenly I see you come online. Did you read my e-mail? What are you thinking? I have to ask you.

_**DarkMagician:** Hey Téa! I didn't expect you to be online now. Don't you have rehearsal?_

You take a moment to reply.

_**DancingGrl:** Hi! I just got your e-mail. How exciting! No rehearsal today. Isn't it late there?_

_**DarkMagician: ** Yeah, it's like 1 am. I'm trying to get organized for the trip._

There's a pause. What are you thinking? You're probably just busy with other things, but finally you tell me:

_**DancingGrl:** It sounds so exciting! You've been wanting to do this for a while._

Exciting. Six months without you. It's not exciting, it's terrifying. I'm going to miss you. I don't know what to say. Will you miss me?

_**DarkMagician:** Yeah… it is exciting, I guess. The thing is… I don't know. I don't like being out of touch for so long._

_**DancingGrl:** Yeah, sounds harsh._

_**DarkMagician:** I can't imagine not being able to e-mail or IM you._

I realize what I just typed, that maybe I've said to much, so I hurriedly add like I'd been thinking it all along:

_**DarkMagician:** or Joey or Tristan._

There is another long pause before your respond. What are you thinking? Probably not thinking much of anything at all. You probably got sidetracked by something else. You can probably do a hundred other things while talking to me. I can't do anything else when I'm talking to you.

_**DancingGrl:** Six months is a long time. I'll miss you. A lot._

I stare at the words a long time. You'll miss me? Really miss me? _A lot?_

I need to hear your voice. I want to talk to you, not through text on a monitor. I want… I don't know what I want. I don't want to go where I can't see _DancingGrl _on a screen and know it's you behind the words. I have a phone card. I'm only supposed to use it to call Grandpa or Mom—not that I think about calling Mom all that much. But I think Grandpa would understand if I used it to call you. He always did like you.

_**DarkMagician:** Are you home right now? I want to call you._

You take a while to answer again. Do you not want to talk to me or are you just multi-tasking?

_**DancingGrl:** I'm home._

_**DarkMagician:** brb_

At first the line is busy. I wonder if it's because you're online, but I'm pretty sure you have a cable modem. I try again and this time you answer. I almost can't speak when I hear your voice, but I do.

"Hey Téa."

"Hey Yugi."

"Wow. It's good to hear your voice."

"You too."

"I… I just wanted to talk to you, you know, not over the computer, before I go. I wanted to hear your voice."

"Mm-hmm," you say. You sound funny, like something is wrong.

"You okay? You sound funny."

"I have a cold," you say. That must be it. "You sound different, too," you tell me. I'm not sure what that means. I think my voice has gotten deeper since high school, and I can't help but wonder if it reminds you of _him._

"Probably just tired," I say.

We are quiet for a moment before I speak again. I have to be honest with you, at least a little. Six months without you is such a long time. "I wanted you to know how much I'll miss talking to you while I'm on the dig, Téa. It's… it's been really hard being away from everyone for so long. I miss all of you guys a lot. But e-mailing and stuff has helped. I'm really dreading going away."

You're voice is softer and a little thick when you answer. You don't like it either, do you? "Just focus on what you'll learn," you tell me. "It will be an amazing experience and six months will probably go by really fast."

You've always been my cheerleader. I should thank you for that, but I feel too much right now to get the words out, so we're silent again. We're like that, you and I. We can be silent together and say more than a thousand words. "You're right," I say at last, "but I'll still miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

Four words. Do you have any idea how much those four words mean to me?

Then I remember, I have good news, too. "Oh, wait, I almost forgot! I got an invitation to a Duel Monsters tournament the other day. Remember how we said we'd get together every year at a tournament?"

"It's already been a year and a half, Yugi." You sound hurt by that and I feel bad. I know it's my fault we haven't seen each other for so long.

"I know, I'm sorry. But this tournament will be in May, about two weeks after we get back to Cairo. It's on a cruise ship to Alaska that sails out of San Francisco. I was thinking… I'm pretty sure Joey will get invited, and we're allowed to each bring one guest. What if we all met up at this tournament? You can be my guest and Tristan can be Joey's. I'll bet Tristan can get leave with this much advance notice. Can you get time off?"

"Yeah, I think so," you say, and I picture you at your job, dancing on stage. Joey got to see you dance when he went out there for that tournament. He said you were magnificent.

This gives me another idea. "Ooh, I had another thought! What if I come to New York first and stay with you for a few days? I can finally see you dance on Broadway!"

"Off Broadway," you correct.

Like there's a difference to me. "I don't care, it's you dancing on a stage. I've been really jealous of Joey getting to see you this past summer and I haven't been able to make it out there yet. What do you think? I'll come out for a few days and then we'll fly to San Francisco together."

"I'd really like that, Yugi," you say.

Now I'm starting to get really excited. Six months feels long, but actually getting to _see _you at the end of it? In person? And finally getting to see you dance? You'll take my breath away, I know it. "Let's plan on it, then. I'll have to make all my travel arrangements now before I go."

"Okay."

We discuss it a while longer and then talk of other things, both of us happier now that we have a plan, that there is a definite plan to see each other again. I try not to think about how it will only be a couple of weeks and then we'll be six thousand miles apart again.

We talk for a long time. You worry it's costing me too much. I don't mind; it's worth it to hear your voice again.

Finally we have to go. It's past three AM here and way past dinnertime there and you've mentioned you haven't eaten. I'm exhausted and you must be starving. But it's still hard to say good-bye.

"I'll scan the tournament invitation and e-mail it to you," I tell you. "And we'll e-mail Joey and Tristan and get it all planned out before I go."

"Okay."

"Téa, it was really great talking to you again."

"Yeah, you too, Yugi."

"I miss you."

"Me too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I click the ENDbutton on the phone. When I am sure you aren't there anymore, I put it back to my ear. "I love you."

I've never said it out loud before. It feels good. It feels scary. How can I love you this much? Will I ever be brave enough to tell you?

Over the next few days, we e-mail a lot as I get ready to leave Cairo for the dig. Joey has not received an invitation and thinks maybe Kaiba is hosting the tournament and he won't get invited. If Kaiba _is_ the host, he could be right, but we'll figure something out. Then he and I get an e-mail from Duke Devlin saying he's been invited and he wants to know if we're coming. We add him into our plans. Rebecca also was invited and the professor says she can come without him if I'll look after her, which means I'll have to bring her to New York, too. Not exactly how I wanted to see you again, with Rebecca in tow, but I can't say no to the professor. At least she doesn't have a crush on me anymore. That was _sooooo _embarrassing! Joey's sister wants to come to the tournament, too. She'll have graduated high school by then and has always wanted to visit America. Joey is still brooding about not being invited, but then, the day before I leave Cairo, he finally gets his invitation and all is good. Serenity will be his guest, Tristan will be Duke's, and you'll be mine.

Hmm. I like the sound of that.

I wonder about your boyfriend, though. You haven't mentioned him since before I called you, and I'm afraid to ask. Joey's not afraid, though. I think he's figured out how I feel about you. Funny how I can't even talk to my own best friend about you, but it seems wrong, somehow, to have anything that I can tell him that I can't tell you, so I don't talk about it. But he knows anyway.

**

* * *

**

_**Subject:** Re: tournament cruise_

_**From:** redeyes…_

_**To**: dancinggirl…, ymutou… taylor.tristan…, _

_**CC**: diceman…, serenity…_

_About time that I got my invitation. I'll bet Kaiba had something to do with that, I just know it. But anyway, we're all set. Can't wait to see you guys! Hope Téa can stand two weeks away from her boyfriend, tho._

_**

* * *

**_

_**Subject:** Re: tournament cruise_

**From**: dancinggirl… 

_**To**: redeyes…, ymutou…, taylor.Tristan…, _

_**CC:** diceman…, serenity…_

_Oh thank God you got your invitation so you can STOP WHINING ABOUT IT! ;) We knew you'd be invited! _

_Man, I can't wait to see you all. I've already started marking the days off on my calendar._

_BTW, I broke up with Josh. I just don't like him that way._

* * *

I've never been jealous of the guys you date. But I can't help it if I'm happy you broke up. Does that make me a bad friend?

The last e-mail I send you is my airline itinerary, Cairo to New York, then four days later, New York to San Francisco with a layover in Dallas. You'll be on the same flight from New York to San Francisco. It's set in stone.

In six months I'll see you. What will I say? I honestly don't know.

And now I'm gone, living in a tent in the middle of the desert. _His _desert. The land _he _ruled. So I'm thinking of him a lot and it makes me a little sad. I miss him. But he didn't really belong with us—with me—so it's easy to let him go.

You're harder. I miss you more. Even out here in the desert, in _his _land, I'm still always thinking of you.


End file.
